2008 Awards Transcript

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It should be noted that while Threm runs the GCB Awards, Mr.Hero624 wrote the fic for this years awards.

At a Tim Horton's near the GCB, Threm, Vorn, Solar, Brad and Linguine were chilling there.::

Linguine: This is a fine Tim Horton's we've got here near the GCB.

Solar: A "fine" Tim Horton's? What are you gay?

Brad: Isn't it against the laws of the ToS to say gay on IGN?

Solar: I am above the law!!

Brad: No you're not.

Solar: What, are you looking for a fight?

Brad: Yes actually, I am.

Brad and Solar start scrapping. Linguine ducks and covers. Eventually Threm comes in and breaks the fight.::

Threm: Alright guys, that's enough. We shouldn't be fighting, not today at least. Today is a day of rejoicing, for it is the day of the GCB awards.

Vorn: No, that was yesterday dude. You like totally missed it.

Threm: But isn't today [put the day you post the awards].

Vorn: No man, it's [put the day after the awards].

Threm: But I was supposed to host them.

Brad: Yeah, you like totally [F-word]ed up.

Threm: Awe man, I was totally pumped for them too.

Solar: Yeah, the worst part was, that they put Didaz in charge of them, when they realized you weren't coming. Luckily he was booed off the stage before the first award had even been presented.

Linguine: Here, sit down and enjoy a nice coffee, while we tell you the story of what happened yesterday.

Solar: Wow, you are gay.

Linguine: No I'm not! angry

Flashback to the GCB Awards the day before. Lilb, who was the stage manager, walks onto the stage.::

Lilb: Hello everyone, and welcome to the GCB awards. You're scheduled host Threm was unable to make it tonight, so without further ado, his replacement, Didaz.

The crowd starts booing.::

Didaz: ::Talking to Lilb.:: Are they booing me?

Lilb: No, no. Don't worry, they're just saying moo.

Didaz: ::Talking to the audience.:: Are you guys saying boo, or moo?

The Audience: Boo!

m00m00m00: I was saying moo.

Didaz: You guys know I'm human just like you. I have feelings too!

Didaz runs off the stage crying. The crowd goes silent. After like a minute of silence Ray stands up.::

Ray: Alright guys, I'm gonna host the show, and do you wanna know why, because I'm bigger than all of you, and can beat all of you up. If you don't agree, then just test me.

The crowd is silent, and kinda scared.::

Ray: I thought so. Now the first award is best n00b, because I say it is. The nominees are; Jason, The Clash, Uber, Didaz and Panda. And the winner is Uber.

Uber: ::Sarcastically:: Wow, how am I not surprised. You guys realized that I've been around for 6 years. Really, thanks for nothing.

Ray: Oh ho ho. Uber, what a character. ::Whispers to Lilb.:: Make sure he doesn't win anymore awards. I don't want that attitude on the stage.

Lilb: ::A little scared.:: Yes sir.

Ray: Next we have the opposite of Best n00b, Worst n00b, and to present that is, me! And the nominees are; Didaz, The Clash, Jason, brdy_ and The Sonic Board. And the winner is, unsurprisingly, Didaz.

Didaz was still crying in the back.::

Ray: Didaz is unavailable to take this award. Speaking on behalf of Didaz is Mitchman.

Mitchman: Umm, okay I really don't know why I'm accepting this award. I was one of the people who voted for Didaz. I'm mean, he sucks, am I right?

Mitch leaves the stage.::

Ray: Wow that was great. What isn't great is that I'm hearing that you want others to come up and present the awards. That makes me angry, and you don't want to see me angry, but I'll allow it, for this one award.

Ray points at a random guest.::

Ray: Hey you, come up here.

The random guest comes up.::

Ray: What's your name?

???: ::Scared:: Umm, I'm SSJ5Vegeta.

Ray: That's a stupid name you know.

SSJ: ::Still scared:: Are you gonna beat me up?

Ray: Just try to present better than me. I know you can't, but try.

SSJ: ::Still extremely scared:: Uhh, okay the next award is, oh crap, what is it?

Lilb: Most Intelligent.

SSJ: Oh okay, the next award is most intelligent, and the nominees are; Yoshidude, Escee, Threm, KCD, and Frog. And the winner is, Escee.

Light suddenly shines on the stage, and Escee hails down from the sky.::

Escee: Hello my children. Thank you for awarding me with this honour. Intelligence is the key to a good life, and lot of prayer of course. And Ray, be easy on these poor souls, for your soul is as poor as theirs.

Escee raises back into the sky, and vanishes. Ray was moved after hearing those words.::

Ray: Hey guys, sorry for being so hard on you. I was out of hand, and I hope to be a better host for the rest of the ceremony.

Suddenly lighting strikes into the building, and kills Ray.::

Sub: The was like so sick, yo!

Lilb: Umm, so like whose gonna host now? Any volunteers?

Jovelo: ::Yells out:: I'll offer Jovelo points to whoever hosts!

Everyone runs up to the stage. Dillo with his incredible black running speed gets there first.::

Dillo: Ha, I'm the winner of the Jovelo points.

Jovelo: ::To himself:: I still can't believe that people haven't realized that Jovelo points are worthless.

Dillo: Alright guys, now that I'm hosting, all of you are gonna have an awesome time, because really the whole point of life is to live in it's awesomenicity. It's just a shame that there isn't a "Most Awesome" award, though I'll make sure we...

Traptor: Just present the award already!!

Dillo: ::Whispering:: Ungrateful suns of bitches. ::Talking to the crowd:: Alright to present the next award is April.

April calls Lilb on her phone.::

April: Tell him I'm not here.

Lilb: ::To Dillo:: Umm April is not in the audience.

Dillo: Awe that sucks. Alright, I guess Frog can come to present the award.

Frog: The next award is the Most Enthusiastic User award. The nominees are; Mr.Hero, Threm, Liz, Luis, and Nestclop. And the winner is, Luis.

Luis: Oh wow I can't believe I just won. This is just awesome, I mean seriously, like I couldn't ever imagine such an honour. I thank all of you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you very much.

Dillo: It's always great to see a man who understands awesomeness. Our next presenter is another man who understands the meaning of "The Awesome".
Please welcome Panda Master.

Panda walks up to the stage.::

Dillo: Peace to the Awesome.

Panda: And also with the Awesome

Dillo: Amen.

Panda: Our next award is Most Optimistic User. The nominees are; Threm, Luis, Traptor, Ray, and AG. And the winner is, Threm. No one knows where Threm is, so I'm just gonna announce the next award. The next award is Most Annoying User, and the nominees are; Jason, Traptor, Didaz, Ray, and Panda. Hey, I'm not annoying.

Jovelo: Yes you are!

Panda: angry Anyways the winner is Didaz.

Didaz no longer crying in the back comes up to the stage.::

Didaz: Stop hating me!

Didaz leaves the stage.::

Dillo: The next award is Most Dedicated. I am going to announce it, because dedication is that awesome. The nominees are, Threm, Frog, Ray, Panda and Traptor, and the winner is Threm. How ironic, the most dedicated user doesn't even show up to the show he's supposed to host. You guys really mind boggle me some times. I need to take a break. Didaz, come back up here.

Didaz comes back up. The crowd starts booing again. Didaz runs back to the back crying again.::

Dillo: I guess I have to continue. The next presenter is someone who's a prince of a country, which is extremely awesome! Welcome the prince of Pokoponesia, Conapple Pokopo.

The song from late night with Conan starts playing.::

Conapple: Hey how's it going guys. Having fun tonight? I mean what was the deal with that Jesus like guy. Real weird.

The crowd was silent.::

Conapple: How about when lighting came from now where, and killed Ray. What was up with that?

The crowd starts throwing stuff at the stage. Jovelo was throwing anti-Jovelo points.::

Conapple: Alright, I guess I'll just announce the award. The award is most creative and the winner is Sub. Awe crap, I forgot to list the nominees.

Jovelo: You suck Conapple!

Sub comes up to claim his award.::

Sub: All I've got to say is...


Sub leaves the stage.::

Dillo: The next award is Most Emo, and to present the award is someone who knows a thing or two about Emo, PDL.

PDL: I'll admit, I had some rough days. It's not fun being Emo, and I'm sure these next five nominees don't have much fun either. The nominees are; Lilb, Didaz, Escee, Dillo, and PDL. And the winner is, me? Hey I'm not Emo anymore. This isn't fair.

PDL takes out a knife and begins to slit his wrists. Lilb and Dillo run out to stop him. PDL accidentally stabs Dillo. Both PDL and Dillo die on stage. Didaz drags them away.::

Lilb: Sorry about that folks. Mgo was scheduled to announce the next award, so I guess he can be host too.

Mgo: Umm, I kinda don't wanna be host, not after what's happened here tonight.

Lilb: Well to bad, you have to.

Mgo: Dang it! Well the next award is Biggest Pervert, and the nominees are; Solar, Blink, Liz, Nestclop, and Traptor. And the winner is, Nestclop.

Nestclop: Tingle thinks that this is an honour, and Tingle would like to thank you all. Tingle would also like to announce the next award.

Mgo: Okay, but where is Tingle.

Nestclop: Tingle is right here. ::Pointing to himself::

Mgo: Okay, go ahead Tingle.

Nestclop: The next award is Coolest User, and the nominees are; Vorn, Panda, Solar, Threm and DaBest, and the winner is DaBest.

DaBest walks up.::

Mgo: Hey, aren't you Jason Biggs?

DaBest: No, but I get that all the time.

Mgo: Too bad, Jason Biggs is hot.

DaBest: Umm, okay. I think I'll just take my award and go.

Mgo winks at DaBest, just before he leaves.::

Mgo: The next award is Most Likely to be Modded. To present the award is Link, though we really wanted Luis or Solar, but they were just asking for too much money.

Link comes up. When he gets up, he takes out his ban stick.::

Link: Next time you say something like that to everyone Mgo, you will get banned. Anywho, the next award is for people who are most likely to become like me. The nominees are; Linguine, Threm, Didaz, TendoGamer, and Mr.Hero. The winner is Threm. Threm is not here as you all know. He was supposed to announce the next award, but I guess Tendo can do it.

TendoGamer: The next award is Most Likely To Be Permabanned, or like I like to call it, the Evil Person award. The nominees are; Didaz, Sub, Dr.Jawn, Traptor and Ray. And the winner is, Didaz.

Didaz: I just want to be loved!! I'm gonna show you my love by announcing next award. Best Iconz! Nominees are; Threm, Traptor, Mr.Hero, Behnom, and DaBest. Winner is Threm.

Sub: What!!! Weegee didn't win!!!

Sub couldn't handle Weegee not winning and shoots himself.::

Mr.Hero: Too bad more of you guys weren't like Sub.

The crowd looks at Hero in disgust.::

Mr.Hero: I mean in his love for Weegee, not in his killing himself.

Mgo: Anyways, let's get back to the show, it's been too long since I've said something. The next award is best icon maker, and to announce it, Dr.Jawn.

Dr.Jawn walks up, while smoking a joint.::

Dr.Jawn: Hey dudes, how's it going? This show's so groovy man. I mean really groovy. And my hands, whoa, they're so big, and you guys, you're all like green and red and blue. Wow...

Mgo pushes Jawn off the stage and announces the award himself.::

Mgo: The nominees are; Mr.Hero, DaBest, Traptor, Inebriator, and Solar. And the winner is DaBest.

DaBest runs out of the building.::

Mgo: That was strange. Anywho, the next awards are going to be done together, given that it's the same nominees and winner in each. To announce the award, mtomato.

mtomato: Hey, do you guys remember me? I'm the tomato man! I used to be a mod too you know, the best mod, too good for IGN, which is why I quit, to find better things, which 5 years down the road I still haven't found. I'm made a huge mistake. Anywho, the nominees for Best Mod, and Best Mod colours are; Wism, Luis, Solar, and Link. And the winner is Luis.

Luis: Yeah, I'm the best mod. I rock, and so do my colours. Wear green!

Mgo: The next award is the Vorn award, Best Mod/VIP/Vorn award. To announce it is non other than Vorn himself.

Vorn: Do I really have to do this? We all know that I'm gonna win.

Mgo: Just do it.

Vorn: Okay, the nominees are; Me, Luis, Solar, and Emunator, and the winner is, what a surprise me. And to all you mods, suck my balls, cause I'm better than you all, even mtomato.

Mgo: Wonderful words. Next is...

Mgo got a stroke and fell to the ground.::

Lilb: Oh dear, who are we gonna get to host this thing now.

Blink: I'll do it, I'm not scared.

Blink walks to the stage. As he climbs up the stairs, one of the stairs break, and he falls right through into the basement, and dies.::

Lilb: Anyone else?

Silence in the crowd.::

Lilb: I guess I'm gonna have to do it then. The next award is best sig. I might as well announce it, since I haven't announced anything yet. The nominees are; Lilb, Liz, Master Link, Dillo and Behnom, and the winner is, Yes!! It's me! Oh sorry, but this rocks! Anyways, seeing with the luck I got by announcing this one, I'll announce the next one as well.

Liz: Rigger!

Lilb: Hush Liz! Next award is Best Bio, and the nominees are; Threm, DaBest, Solar, Traptor, and Blink, and the winner is DaBest.

Traptor went outside to tell DaBest that Mgo was dead and it was safe for him to claim his awards, but upon going out he noticed DaBest lying over a fire hydrant, with his back bent broken on it.::

Traptor: Umm guys, DaBest is dead.

Lilb: Umm, on to the next award then. Best polls. To announce that, Jamie.

Jamie: Hey guys, remember me?

Nestclop: Not really, but your hot.

Jamie: Cool. Anyways, the nominees are; Traptor, Ray, Brad, Lilb and Frog, and the winner is Traptor.

Traptor: Yay, I win! I'm still better than you all, and because I'm so good, I'll announce the next award, cause I'm definitely gonna win that too. So the nominees for best topics are; Panda, Threm, Traptor, Nestclop, and Behnom. And the winner is, What!!! Nestclop! WTF, Nestclop sucks!!

Traptor leaves the stage pissed. He was so pissed that he wasn't watching out where he was going, and fell threw the hole in the stairs that Blink fell threw earlier.::

Nestclop: Ha Ha, I win again, and that makes me horny. Thank you for making me stiff.

Lilb: That was just wonderful. The next presenter is someone who's fairly hyperactive. Please welcome Liz.

Liz runs up the stage. She hugs Lilb when she gets up there, but squeezes to hard. Lilb unable to breathe, dies.::

Liz: Ooops! Well what can I say. Accidents like happen! Anyways, I'm like presenting! ^_^ The nominees for the nicest user are!! Luis, Jamie, Threm, April and Mr. Hero. The winner is!!! Luis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Luis: Oh my gosh! I won again. I can't believe it. Thank you so mu...

Luis was shot. The crowd gasped, and then looked at Brad.::

Brad: He, he was too enthusiastically nice.

Wsim: Hey wait, whose hosting now?

Jovelo: You are!

Wsim: Ah crap, why did I open my mouth. Well now that I'm hosting, I guess I'll announce the next few awards to speed this up. The first award is Most Generous. Nominees are; Threm, Nate, Hoolin, PDL and Luis. Threm wins but he's not here. Next award is Most Improved. Nominees; Didaz, Nestclop, Jason, Traptor and Threm. Didaz wins, but he sucks.

Didaz: cry

Wsim: Next award, Best Markup User. Nominees, Dillo, Threm, Luis, Traptor. Winner, guy who was supposed to host. Next award, Weirdest User. Aren't Asian's the most efficient people around? Anywho, nominees, Escee, Nate, Didaz, Jawn, and Hero. Winner, Escee. He hasn't descended yet, so let's mov...

Lighting strikes again, this time killing Wism.::

Escee: Do not cut off your saviour. Because of all these random deaths, I will take over the show.

Jovelo: Oh no you won't. Crucify him!

The crowd gets up, and crucifies Escee.::

Jabroni: Umm, so who hosts now?

Yoshidude: I'll host. I bet Escee was behind all those deaths anyways. I'd like to call up Xer to announce the next award.

Xer: The next award is Silliest User, which I find to be a dumb award. And the nominees are; Escee, Uber, Didaz, Nestclop, and Traptor. The Winner is Traptor, but he's dead like half of the people here.

Yoshi: These award are starting to get lame with all these deaths. That being said, our next presenter is TPE.

TPE is spotted hiding in the back, but doesn't come up to present.::

Yoshi: Well, I guess I'll have to present then. The next award is Funniest User. The nominees are; Behnom, Nestclop, DaBest, Traptor, and Vorn. And the winner, hopefully someone who is alive, is, Nestclop.

Nestclop: Awesome. I can't believe I've already come up like 5 times already and haven't died yet.

Nestclop feels a rumbling in his stomach.::

Nestclop: Awe [S-word]!

Nestclop's stomach and other vital organs explode. Part of his gull bladder goes right in The Master's mouth, and The Master chokes on it to death.::

Yoshi: I think we should end this now.

Panda: No, I might actually win something this year!

Yoshi: Well I guess we go on. The next award is Most Overrated. The nominees are Luis, Panda, Escee, Traptor, and Didaz, and the winner is Panda.

Panda: What, that's a horrible award. I'd rather be dead.

Brad: That can be arranged.

Panda: No, no, no. I'll take the award.

Panda grabs his award, and runs back to his seat.::

Yoshi: The next award is Most Underrated, and it will be presented by Whogie.

Whogie: I'm pretty confident that I won't be winning this award or even get a vote for this award, cause I'm more like Most Unnoticed, Anirite! Anyways, the nominees are; Conapple, Mitchman, Linguine, SSJ, and Behnom. And the winner is, Behnom.

Yoshi ::To Whogie:: Umm, who's Behnom?

Whogie I don't know, I haven't ever heard of him, and that's coming from me! Have you ever heard of him before?

Yoshi: I can't say that I have.

Behnom: I'm right here.

Yoshi: Did you say something?

Whogie: Nope.

Yoshi: I must be hearing things then.

Whogie: Anyways, it looks like this person doesn't exist, so we're just gonna have to throw the award away.

Behnom: Aww fizzles. sad

Yoshi: Well I don't wanna risk anyone elses life, so I'll read out the rest of the awards. The next award is Biggest Whiner. The nominees are; Didaz, Brad, Blink, Rayhovite, and Panda. And the whiner is, I just thought of that, Didaz!

Didaz: Why do you all hate me?

Didaz throws a tantrum, and kills Yoshi in the midst of it.::

Didaz: I host now again, and you will like it!

Jovelo: Get off the stage!

Didaz: I hate you guys!

And again, Didaz runs off crying. Now running out of people who actually want to be the host, a confident young buck by the name of Avacado steps up to the stage.::

AG: Letz make this simple and quick. Da deth iz got to stop. Da next award iz Biggest Attention Whore. Nominees; Didaz, Liz, Traptor, Panda and TPE. Da winner iz da cry baby Didaz. Next awards iz da hottest malez and femalez awards. Male nominees iz; Brad, Escee, Solar, Traptor and Nestclop. Femalez nominee iz; Trinity, Liz, Jamie, Traptor, and April. Winnerz izes, Solar and Liz.

Solar and Liz come up and take their awards. Then they start making out, because they are both so hot.::

AG: Beautiful. Nezt awarder person iz ma pal Vivi.

Vivi: This is also a dual award. Best User Name, and Best AIM/MSN/Other Name. User Name nominees are; Brad, Frog, Rayhovite, Threm and AG. Other Name nominees are; Vorn, Frog, Hoolin, Nate and Traptor. The winners are, AG for best Name, and Traptor for best other name.

AG: Cool, I wonz sumthing, but Trap iz dedz. Next awardz izes, Best and Worst tastez in musac. Vorn come up.

Vorn: Hey homie, whats going on?

AG: Juzt rapsing awayz.

Vorn: Fly, fly. Alright, the nominees for best Taste in Music are; Justin, Hoolin, hhlink, Traptor and Yoshi. For Worst Taste in Music; Didaz, Liz, Vorn, Sub, and AG.

AG: Hey, we hated dawg!

Vorn: Yeah man! Anywho, the winners are, Traptor for Best and Didaz for worst. Traptor is still dead, and Didaz is probably a fag.

AG: Vorn da bezt prezenter yet. Next awarder prezenting guy iz the man full wit da pointz, Jovelo.

Jovelo: The next award is my personal favourite, the GTFO award. Everyone on here other than me is useless, but there is only one who can be most useless, and he is the one who has to GTFO.

Brad: Stop being a hater!

Jovelo: Why don't you stop being a nagger! Well, the nominees are; Panda, Didaz, Jason, Conapple, and DaBest. And the winner is, Didaz.

Didaz: Another bad award. Why people, I just want your love. But I see I won't get that here, so I'll grant your wish, and GTFO.

Didaz takes out a gun, and shoots himself in the head.::

Jovelo: For shame you guys. Look what you've driven this poor kid to, suicide. You guys are despicable.

kcdinc: Oh shut it. You've been the biggest instigator all night. If any one's despicable, it's you.

kcdinc takes out a gun, and shoots Jovelo. He then shoots AG as well. The crowd looks at kcdinc.::

kcdinc: What? AG was like retarded, and shouldn't have been hosting.

kcdinc goes up on stage and becomes the new host.::

kcdinc: Okay, so I guess that I'm now the host of this shindig, which mean that I'm likely gonna die, but I'm not afraid of death, so I'm okay with this. I'd like to ramble some more, but I'm sure most of you wanna be done with this before you die too, so onto the next award, which is the Please Come Back Award. To announce this award, I guy whose left a few times, only to come back each and every time, Mr. Hero.

Mr. Hero: Umm, so like what's going on here? Why am I even here?

kcdinc: You're presenting an award.

Mr. Hero: Award?

kcdinc: Just read the card.

Mr. Hero: OK. The nominees are; TPE, UP, Mario2, Baller, and The Real Luis. And the winner is Mario.

Mario: I want to kitu CRM iere you.

Mario leaves the stage. Hero cluelessly walks off the stage, and falls through the hole on the stairs that both Blink and Traptor fell through before.::

kcdinc: Somebody should really patch that hole up. Anyways, please welcome our next presenter, Zeldahoolin.

Hoolin: This is another dual award. Best Male and Female users. The nominees for best male are; Traptor, Threm, Yoshi, Ray and Nate. For best female the nominees are; Liz, Jamie, Traptor, Mgo and April. The winners are, Threm and Liz.

Liz comes up to accept both awards.::

Liz: New girls come and go, but I'm always the best! So I'm taking both awards!

kcdinc: Only 5 awards left people. We're almost free! Welcome Kirby-Star to announce the next award, Best Gamer.

Kirby: Hey, I wasn't forgotten! Well the nominees are; Pacn, Panda, Ray, Traptor and Linguine. The winner is Panda.

Panda: Thank you. The key to being so good is practice. I play videogames 28 hours a day. I'm playing right now as you can see. I'm godly.

Pacn shoots Panda.::

Pacn: Not anymore, you're not.

kcdinc: Can you people stop killing each other.

kcdinc gets stabbed in the back by HHlink.::

HHlink: No.

HHlink leaves the stage.::

April: Umm, so what now?

Jabroni: Do you guys just wanna leave?

Msamuleman: No! We must finish.

Brad: Why? It's not like you're gonna win anything.

Msam: No, but I'm gonna host.

Brad: Go ahead and kill yourself.

Msam: Yeah, I'm important now! The next award is Best Mgo. There's no point even bothering with this dumb award, cause Mgo won easily. So let's do the next award, Best Vet. The nominees are; Solar, Threm, Ray, Traptor and Panda. And the winner is Threm. The last 2 awards will be announced by my good friend, Master Link.

Master Link: Alright let's put this horror to an end. Best and Worst Overall users. The nominees for Worst are; Panda, Didaz, Jason, Traptor, and Traise. Nominees for best are; Threm, Brad, Didaz, Traptor and Panda. The winner for worst, Didaz and Best Threm. Neither are here, so we're finally done! Yay. Let's get out of here.

All of a sudden Mario started kitu CRM iereing everyone. People were running around frantically, panicking, and bumping into each other. Suddenly the ceiling started shaking and it collapsed, killing everyone in the room. And that's the end of the story.::
Back at the coffee shop.::

Threm: Wow, I'm kinda glad I wasn't there now, but if all that happened, how did you guys survive?

Vorn: Umm, Threm we didn't.

Threm: Hahaha, real funny. I bet this story wasn't even real.

Solar: No Threm, we're really dead.

Threm: If you guys really are dead, prove it.

Solar takes out a gun and shoots Linguine. Linguine falls from the impact, but then gets right back up, unhurt.::

Threm: Holy crap, does that mean I'm seeing ghosts?

Vorn: Well Threm, you're dead too. Ever wonder why you never made it to the show?

Brad: Yeah, you got into a car accident on the way there.

Threm: Wow, so this is death? I guess this isn't that bad.

Linguine: No, not quite bad at all.

Solar: What did your parents do to you?

Linguine: Oh shut it!


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